Note: I intended to publish this later. But, I since spoke to a friend who may be encouraged by this, so I'm going to publish now. Excuse the typos...GodsyGirl is only human. :)
One of the most difficult things to do is to turn over to God those things you love most.
I'm in my early 40's and have buried most of my immediate family. In fact, most of them died by the time i was 34. The recurrent shocks of death after death cultivated two dubious by-products in my adult life. First, those traumas made me strong in the Lord as each one thrust (or even flung) me at the feet of Jesus for strength, comfort and restoration. Humans were of some limited comfort during those times - I needed what only Jesus could supply. So, these turbulent seasons made me incredibly dependent on the Lord and His Holy Spirit. For this, I thank God for every trial because I now enjoy a deeply personal communion with Him that few people understand.
Secondly, losing so many people in a relatively short life worked in me a wretched and nagging desire to hold on to the few family members that remain on earth. Sure, we all want our loved ones to enjoy long lives with us, but I'm talking about something quite different. Recently, the Holy Spirit gently showed me how my desire to hold on to my loved ones can transform itself into worry, fear and doubt - all of which are direct enemies to faith. As you know, without faith, we cannot please God or expect to receive anything from Him. Faith [in Him] is the cornerstone to our relationship with Him and the key to Godly maturity. We must guard it...from our logic, our past experience and the opinions of others.
God can move in ways that simply don't make sense to us. But, we are limited -which is why we need Him in the first place. His thoughts are so above ours and it can make trusting difficult. Difficult, but not impossible. You see, when we truly trust God, we surrender everything to Him knowing that 1) He can manage it immensely better than we ever could and 2) that He has our best interest at heart and is always "up to something good" in our lives. (God bless Bishop Joseph Garlington for that quote.). The afore mentioned are immutable truths regardless of what you are currently going through and regardless of the life trial you currently face. Are you worried about anything, any one, any situation? If so, hold to these immutable facts.
So, with tears in my eyes, I repent because I admit that I have allowed worry to creep into my life as a result of my past and my fear.
I am sorry for not [one hundred percent]trusting God with my future, my family and my destiny, but I also resolve to change my position. With the Holy Spirit's help, I resolve to re-commit all that I hold dear to the Lord and crucify worry in my life. I commend to Him my family, my ambitions, my marriage, my children, my friendships and my ministry...I surrender all today. How about you?
Read Hebrews 11:6, John 6-7.
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