Well, today the news broke.
Another famous celebrity figure (
Arnold Schwarzenegger) has betrayed the vows of his marriage, ventured to have sex with another woman and fathered a child with a member of the household staff.
The situation is enough to break the heart of any married woman. So sad. It is sad something so avoidable can still occur and break so many families into millions of pieces.
Avoidable? You didn’t know it was avoidable? Oh yes, like any sin, people have choices. Non-Christians may not have the power (of the Holy Spirit), but they do have the choice.
Lust is a spiritual ailment many preachers do not talk about on Sunday mornings. This is a huge mistake because the Word of God is about more than spiritual redemption by our loving Savior. It is also a spiritual blueprint directing us how to handle sin and temptation in our daily lives. The beauty is that it doesn’t just tell us, it shows us vivid examples and tools to manage the spiritual power of the Holy Spirit.
The Bible says lust is the precursor for sin. Check it out: “but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1: 14-15
How we feel about the opposite sex is cultivated in our own minds. It’s linked to what we watch (television), what we think about (imagine), and even the music we listen to – all these shape our thinking and musings.
I had done things my way for long enough and knew God’s way had to be better than mine. So, I was determined to live holy and real before God. I knew that God would not tell me (in His word) to live without sex outside marriage without giving me the strength and power to resist it – but I had a responsibility in the process as well.
As a single woman, I learned early in my journey that I couldn’t watch love scenes on television. Watching those scenes reminded me of past experiences and launched lustful desires. Here are some of the practices that helped me finally walk in victory over lust and pre-marital sex:
1. Not too much alone time with him. Being alone with a gorgeous guy awakes desires and wants…you know what I mean, Girl.
2. No kissing. This was a difficult one, but like being alone with that hottie, kissing him awakes desires and launches behaviors that could lead to a progression toward sin. I was tired of sin reigning in my life
3. Love songs. For me, love songs can put two people (attracted to one another) in the mood for sex. So, Luther had to go….even while I was just driving in the car alone.
This may sound drastic, but I needed something drastic to empower me to be true to my God and His laws. Sex before marriage is sin and God doesn’t like it and won’t save me from it’s consequences.
Further, I knew obedience to Him brings blessings, while disobedience brings the curse of guilt and spiritual death.
You know what. I found that God had something so much better for me than I could ever have imagined or gained playing “house” with some guy. I’m sorry, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I could not have accepted it if I had allowed my desires to control me.
So many single women want an authentically Godly man. (Yes, they are out there). Nevertheless, many of them are not willing to compromise themselves for a woman that cannot even control her body. Similarly, many truly, for real, Godly woman feel the same way – the last thing they need is some weak, lusty man to share their life with….remember, it’s all about choices.
Perfect, I am not. Made lots of mistakes. However, none after I employed the “Top 3” listed above. It really helped me. And praise God, I (finally) learned that giving away my body was a huge mistake and barrier to my own self image. I pray every woman of God, every woman of Christian maturity learns the same.
Don't forget: God is the God of another chance. It's never too late to start over.
Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. Lord knows, I needed lots of chances, but praise Jesus for sustained victory over my desires! God will keep you, if you want to be kept. You will have to say "no", you will have to deny yourself and you will have to walk away when everything in you wants to stay in his arms...but you can do it by the power of Jesus Christ.
Note: Watch soon for my new e-book "A Godsy Girl's Dating Guide!"
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