Friday, July 2, 2010
Dressing Sexy for Church?
Are you trying to show me your belly button?
No? Then you want me to look at your breasts?
I see, maybe it’s the crack of your behind you want me to see.
Before you navigate away from Godsy Girl, assuming I’ve lost my mind, let me explain. Recently, a New York Daily News poll discovered that 1/3 of women are willing to dress provocatively to get ahead in the workplace.
One third - interesting.
Indulge me as I ponder this concept a bit. So, basically, some women are willing to dress to sexually excite men in order to succeed professionally. Let’s belabor the point here. Again, a contingent of women will visually seduce in order to get what they want. I know this is not a new concept, but worth analyzing.
I’m not judging, just thinking. Stay with me a bit or at least hear me out. If women in the workforce dress sexy to “get” ahead; then why do women in the church do it?
And the mind reels.
Women, vain creatures that we are, enjoy looking attractive. Like it or not, our outer appearance is dubiously linked to our total self image. But, when we intentionally showcase body parts (some of which are best left to private arenas), we must contemplate our motives. The poll made it clear what some women are trying to get in the workplace, but what are we, as Christ-following women, trying to “get”?
What’s my bulls eye?
The irksome question becomes ‘what exactly am I trying to accomplish with my clothing?’ Is it to secure a husband or a boyfriend? Is it for the instant [and fleeting] gratification of that second glance from men in church? Or is it to just be sexy in general and if so, why? Does a woman really want a man to choose her based on hips, lips and fingertips?
Again, I am not judging. Just pondering, questioning, probing and challenging. My personal stance is that we should not criticize or judge. Our role is to do what my grandma did- just love them into the “kingdom”. In fact, that’s how someone dear to me (Ilena Spearman) described my grandmother once. That’s our role. Not to criticize, judge or demean. Just to love and let the Holy Spirit do HIS work. So, with my stance clear, let’s continue.
Think of it. A typical Sunday at most any church is sprinkled with a myriad of colors, shapes, sizes and personalities. That’s a good thing. There should not be one homogenous style or acceptable “look” in the Body of Christ. That’s not what I am saying. Hey, it takes all kinds. The question to explore is one of critical thought not assimilation.
As we journey through life, what message do we hope to convey to the men, women, boys and girls in our sphere of influence? Do we want people to look at us and presume confidence, strength, along with personal security? Or would we prefer them to see us as needy, sexually insecure and desperate?
I’ll use my “I” voice for a moment. What do I want people to conclude about me at first glance? What do I want them to discern about my integrity or my ideals? It’s a question worth pondering.
Are you old enough to remember Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal? I am. During those years, I hopped on the bandwagon and purchased one of those short, short, short skirts. I loved it. My legs looked ten miles long. In my excitement, I decided to don it to church one sunny Sunday morning.
Looking ever so cute, I walked through the foyer with my usual swagger, greeting folks, offering hugs and smiling. I continued through the lobby, walking to the beat of the soundtrack in my head. Then I became aware of the numerous pairs of eyes dropping downward toward my naked upper thighs. Some people just observed and kept going. Others appeared to judge. Then there were a few of those guys that gave me that yucky, lusty look. I felt weird. I felt reduced.
As I sat in the sanctuary, I wished I had one of those “sanctified” hankies (with the lace trim) to cover myself. My discomfort grew physical as I fidgeted to position my legs just “right” so as not to show my “business” to the pulpit.
Let’s be clear. I’m a pretty confident person, so I didn’t so much care about other people’s opinions; I just felt cheapened by my wardrobe choice. I never forgot that. And I never wore that skirt again.
The Entire Point
Godsy Girl™ is designed to inspire growth, challenge the status quo and make you think. So tell me, what do you think? Is it appropriate to show cleavage or other sexually stimulating body parts in church? Is it ok to be sexy in the place of worship? Why or why not?
I’ll await your answers….I’m "scurred"….